As I’m sure you know, having PTSD, anxiety, or depression bring difficulties on your social life. It’s hard to perform in certain situations and try to shut off the negative side effects that come with it. I have struggled with more than just PTSD for a while now and I would honestly have to say that PTSD is by far the worst for socializing. Although we should NEVER shut off socializing, there comes a point where it’s too much and we do need to remove ourselves from the situation for the sake of our health.
I am going to teach you the healthy balance that I’ve learned so far.
When you’re out, whether it’s shopping, hanging out with friends, at a fun event, or whatever it may be, you might experience an episode or get very panicked. When the episode comes on, don’t immediately leave. When we immediately leave we are teaching ourselves that when something gets difficult or scary then we just walk away. We have to put up a little fight first. Go through your coping skills. Use the coping skills that help you best. Once you have tried that, remind yourself that you’re safe. Tell yourself, “I am allowed to have a good time and enjoy myself.” I find myself having to mumble that to myself when I’m out and who cares if anyone hears you! Focus on yourself and caring for YOU! Try to find a quiet place where you can find your peace, maybe a bathroom, a quiet corner or room, outside or even your car. Put on a podcast or some peaceful music through some headphones. Play a game on your phone or call someone that you feel comfortable talking to. If by this point you’re still struggling to the point you cannot find your peace and you’re shaking or feeling light-headed, it’s totally okay to just leave.
We need to challenge ourselves and overcome our fears, but in a healthy way. If you have used every coping skill and resource possible and it’s not helping you, then just leave. You don’t deserve to be miserable while you’re out and if leaving a party will help you mentally, then by all means do it. But, instead of being sad thinking you failed and had to leave because it was too much on you, tell yourself this, “I used every coping skill and resource I could. I tried to find my peace, but I couldn’t in that moment, I will find my peace by removing myself from this situation. I challenged myself. I tried and I did NOT fail because I went and tried to push through. I couldn’t stay but that is okay. That does not mean I failed.” Trying isn’t failing, not trying is failing. Because, if you fail to try then you never even tried to begin with. All we can do is try, each day is different and we will tackle each day differently. Never give up on yourself, keep fighting, keep trying. We got this!
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