Going through a traumatic childhood can leave you feeling like nothing good ever happens. There’s always this pain we feel deep within that makes us feel like there were never any good times in our life when we were children. The horrible events that took place overshadow the small moments that were actually good.
As I am working through my healing, I find myself constantly reminded of all the hurt and trauma. It has left me thinking, Was there ever a good moment in my childhood? It has taken me months…and I mean months to try to remember anything good. I thought, If I can remember all the horrible things that happened, then certainly I can at least remember one good thing. And I was able to do just that, and I am glad I did.
I sat there and thought really hard. I closed my eyes, took deep breaths and tried to look for a good moment. It didn’t have to be several, I just wanted to think of one. I remembered the times my dad would take me to the dollar store for a little snack. Him and I would sit in the car and eat it together and no one would know. It was a safe place that him and I could escape from my mother. It was a safe place for me to escape not just from my mother, but also my parents’ son. Remembering this made me smile. I felt a bit of relief remembering something that was a happy time and not a traumatic time.
I hold on tightly to that good memory. When I feel overwhelmed and the flashbacks are bad I turn to the memory. I close my eyes and picture eating a snack with my dad. I guess it’s a way of trying to comfort that little girl I once was.
Can searching for a good memory from your childhood heal you completely? No, probably not…but it’s a great start. It’s a way of putting positivity and light over the little child you once were and trying heal and comfort them the best you can.
As Always,
You Deserve Peace
You Are Not Your Diagnosis
You Are Not Alone
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